The photo is from 1978. My son, his truck. Behind him, my truck.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Bad Toilet

Tuesday, May 24, 1977

Have you ever been furious at a toilet?  Has it ever become personal?  Have you ever shouted "FLUSH EVERYTHING AT ONCE!" to a contemptuous ceramic crapper?  Have you ever completely disassembled and reassembled a commode, replacing every replaceable part, and the damn thing STILL LEAKS?   

The Enemy

I have fixed water closets
for six years
but this particular piece of china
simply squatted there,
insolent white porcelain
mocking my deadlines
flushing with a hiss and gurgle
that I swear was saying
Piss on you, Plumber.
Or as one of my ex-pat British clients said to me, "This loo ain't worth a shit."

The particular loo that inspired my poem turned out to have an invisible hairline crack.

Meanwhile, my dog Quinn used to have a fascination with those same devices:

One day, alas, Quinn investigated too deeply.  From the other room I heard a splash, a flush, a hollow bubbling sound - then silence.  No one ever saw that dog again.


Just kidding...

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